


The Only Sound

by bowtiehour



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: BAMF Merlin, F/M, M/M, Royal!Merlin, king arthur - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-06-10 05:53:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6942454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bowtiehour/pseuds/bowtiehour
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>King Arthur's reign has just begun, the land of Camelot is steadily settling down.The peace seems like injustice to a once loved soul, Lady Morgana. In her attempts to gain control over Camelot, Morgana's actions lead to the end of one of Arthur's most trusted friends. In his most noble sacrifice, Merlin reveals a part of himself that Arthur can never believe.<br/>But sometimes the actions of a man, no matter how just can take him to a path that goes against everything he stands for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is the only the beginning of this tale and I will be updating quite often. Hope you guys enjoy this and don't hate me for the cliffhanger.  
> [would love your feedback as it motivates me to get on with the story 

The crunch of gravel beneath the horses hooves was the only sound that Arthur heard. Well, not entirely. He was aware of Merlin's nervous and raspy breathing. It made him wonder why he agreed to let Merlin accompany him on his journey to Leshir, a kingdom that was rather far away. He had heard that bandits were stealing grains from peasants in the outlying areas of Camelot and the kingdom of Nemeth and were currently residing in the southern parts of Leshir. Since he was crossing over the borders to an unknown kingdom, he believed that travelling without a large party meant he wouldn't have the need to be sanctioned by the authorities of Leshir.

"Tell me something Merlin." Arthur asked as he looked towards the canopy of the valleys and contemplated how long it would take him and Merlin to reach shelter before the sun went down. "Why do you insist on riding with me, when in reality you would be better off hiding behind a little girl In Camelot?"

It was Merlin's turn to pick a bone. "Well, I wouldn't mind that but seeing as you can't put on a shirt without straining every muscle in your body, I would say that," he paused, "you can't function without my help, sire." Arthur took to glaring at his manservant when he realized he had no witty retorts, because Merlin was right. Arthur couldn't manage even the simplest tasks without Merlin's help. As if Merlin knew exactly what Arthur was thinking, he smirked and started moving forward.

They went ahead at a rather slow pace due to the fact that both of their horses were tired after half a day's ride. Above them, Arthur noticed the sky turning a shade of scarlet that told him the sun had set. With a sigh, Arthur said, "Merlin, I believe we have no option but to make camp near the caves on this side of the valley. We won't be able to make it through the forest so soon. What do you think?"

With a short glance, Merlin nodded and answered, "I suppose we have to. But I'd rather stay outside the caves, since we haven't the slightest of ideas as to what lies inside." As soon as Arthur heard this, he made sure he set his night supplies inside the cave. He was being childish but it was always delighted him when he could spite Merlin.

"Well? Come on inside."

Merlin glared at him disapprovingly but went inside anyway. "Clotpole." He muttered to himself as he set his bags down near the entrance of the cave. Merlin for some unknown reason felt a threat hanging over his head inside the cave, and was trying to make sure that he was in a position where he could protect Arthur shall any perilous situation arrive. Sometimes, he wondered why he bothered because Arthur wouldn't ever think of him as the savior of the day, instead he'd always dismiss him as the cowardly idiot. Destiny be damned, was Arthur truly worth saving indefinitely?

The answer would always be yes. He would save him for all of eternity and never regret any of it, not even the price he himself had to pay for Arthur's safety. Merlin's incandescent thoughts were interrupted by Arthur shouting, "I hope you can get the fire started soon, or we both are going to freeze to death."

"Give me a moment, you prat, I can't just start a fire out of thin air. I'll go collect some wood." Merlin replied, in the dark Arthur couldn't see Merlin's features but he could definitely hear a smile in his tone. What the source of his humor was Arthur couldn't place, considering this was Merlin obviously it must have been something absurd.

Arthur could make out Merlin was leaving the cave as he saw his silhouette in the dim light the darkening sky offered. Merlin left in a moment, the sound of his footsteps fading until suddenly Arthur heard a small, "Ow." It made him grin wide, Merlin was such a stumblebum. Arthur lay himself down beside his bags and pulled on a cloak of fur for warmth. He had planned for them to be thought of as simple peasants to make it easier to travel and hence he carried only the most worn out of his cloaks. It wasn't very warm but it was all he had, Merlin didn't even have one of those. It made him consider the troubles of those belonging to lower families, belonging to royalty ensured that he was always well fed and warm no matter how harsh the winter was. Small comforts were lost to most of Camelot and the thought made him slightly unnerved. Someday he wished that it wouldn't matter whether you were a noble or not, someday even his strange servant, his people, would all have a life that they would deem worthy of living.

The sound of rushing footsteps broke his revery, Merlin ran into the cave with his hands empty, his breathing exhausted.

"Arthur! Listen I think we are being ambushed. We have to leave." Merlin spoke without pause, making both of their horses ready, his hands working steadily but his whole form was visibly shaking. Arthur approached him and took hold of his right arm, his grip strong. "Merlin, what's wrong? Tell me everything again."

"Arthur, we have no time. Listen-" whatever Merlin was going to say next Arthur didn't hear because right then he heard a horrendous sound, it was the howl of a large beast and it was coming from inside the cave instead of outside, and when he turned to look at the mouth of the cave he saw a woman whose form was shimmering with golden light. Her frame stood tall, and her dark hair flew around her and the golden mist she stood within. Somehow the mist around her had shrouded the only exit from the cave.

With a smile, Morgana turned to look at Arthur. "Hello, Arthur. At last I have the chance of meeting the new King of Camelot." Her voice was loud and it had a calm demeanor. But Arthur saw the hostility in the way her eyes looked at him. Morgana had found him. She believed she could win her throne at long last.

"Merlin. It's great to see you. Still serving Arthur?" Morgana flicked her gaze towards Merlin, and after a moment of silence she took a few steps towards Merlin. Her pale skin and her raging green eyes reminded Merlin of a ghost, she had lost all her warmth and in that instance he realized how dangerous she was, but what Morgana didn't realize was that in her distracted stance Arthur had unsheathed and picked up his sword. His grip was firm and he was about to strike Morgana from the corner when Morgana's eyes lit up gold and a gust of wind hit Arthur sending him spiraling to the ground. Morgana's face twisted in amusement, "Is that all you got, dear brother?"

"Morgana. Don't you dare take another step towards Arthur."

Arthur looked towards Merlin, his shoulders raised high, and a voice that held power. Merlin's words rang clearly and so loud that even the echoes took moments to subdue. Arthur was shocked to see this strange sense of bravery his idiotic manservant possessed but he wished Merlin would just stay quiet and try to escape. He knew Merlin would reach Camelot if he acted wisely because Morgana only wished for Arthur's death. Given the state he was in, lying on the cold ground with no weapon to protect him, his sword too far out of reach, Arthur knew he'd be dead in a moment. Maybe Morgana's beast would kill him. Maybe she would wish to kill him herself. Either way he was doomed.

"Merlin. You were once a dear friend and maybe if you allow me to seek the justice that I deserve, I will let you live." said Morgana.

"Listen to her Merlin. It's not too late for you, leave." Arthur's voice pleaded. In his hurt state, he was incapable of doing much but Merlin should leave him. Merlin needs to leave because he deserves a much better life, he deserves the world. "Please."

It was barely a whisper but Arthur knew that his friend had heard him.

For a second Arthur and Morgana notice Merlin's features twist up in confusion, the look disappears as soon as it comes. Merlin's deranged expression is replaced by some sort of determination and his hands fly up as if he wields a weapon. Arthur doesn't understand what Merlin is trying to do but Morgana's entire body shakes violently and her voice ringing loudly, she screams "Emrys!"

Merlin smiles, his posture powerful and tall. In the dim light of Morgana's magical mist, the depth less blue eyes flicker and turn gold. Merlin had magic, Arthur thinks. He feels himself being jerked with a glaring force. His body is thrown into the air with a flick of Merlin's hands and he lands outside the cave just in time to see Merlin look towards him with a rueful smile. His eyes not gold anymore, just plain old Merlin.

"Remember me, will you?"

With those words Merlin vanishes from Arthur's sight. The cave comes crumbling down over him and Morgana. Bit by bit, Arthurs view is obscured as the rocks fall over without stopping and leave him lying on the cold ground outside. All Arthur know is that Merlin isn't by his side. But he must be alive. Merlin must be alive, he thinks. The alternative too strange and too lonely for him, Arthur closes his eyes. His body too hurt to move and his mind filled with thoughts of an unsung betrayal. King Arthur lies on the stones. His eyes closed and his arms stretched outwards as if waiting for an embrace. An embrace they would never find.

The only sound heard for miles is the rocks falling over, one by one by one. The only sound if not for the low sobs of a mighty king.


	2. An Unfamiliar Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been three years since Camelot lost a dear friend and the world lost it's greatest sorcerer, Merlin. Arthur mourns his loss his heart driven with grief, he wishes for nothing other than to see Merlin again. His wishes are granted but in such a way he wishes they weren't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The update took a while and I'm sorry about that. I'll be posting sooner than later with the next( I hope I can with school starting on Monday).  
> Maybe you can see Merlin's history changing and there are some subtle hints in the tags about it..

Sometime Arthur Pendragon wondered when he would stop fearing confined spaces.  

Three years ago on the very same day, he had finally understood his best friend, understood who he truly was but that was the day he had lost him. Merlin would never know how grateful Arthur was for everything he had sacrificed. Every day Arthur would wake up, and everyday he wished he had been capable of fighting against magic. Maybe if he had been able to defeat Morgana, Merlin would still be alive today. 

If only Merlin had been alive, Arthur wouldn't be visiting his unmarked grave. Unmarked in all senses of the word, but the dreadful cave had borne a fear so deep in Arthur's mind that being in any confined space somehow made him crumple. The sight was forever marked in his mind. What a miserable joke he was for having such a fear. Arthur Pendragon, King of Camelot, was a coward.  

He knew all those around him thought this. Even his knights must have felt this, he knew in his heart. Only Merlin would have hit him on the head and said, "Stop feeling sorry for yourself and go make something of yourself, you prat. Just because you're the king doesn't mean everyone is thinking about you." The very thought of Merlin trying to keep his spirits high brought a grin to his face. He just truly missed Merlin. 

Bending on his knees, Arthur placed the yellow and white flowers he had picked on his way here. He knew they weren't anything special but as he neared the boulders that still barricaded the cave even after three years, he knew all Merlin would have liked was Arthur working a sweat to get him flowers and not asking a servant to pick them out. So that's what Arthur did. 

The boulders lay fixed. When Arthur was found a day after his ambush, he wouldn't budge, he just requested his knights to help him move them so that Merlin could be saved. Even after a week of trying, the cave's entrance stood undisturbed and it seemed a spell kept it that way when he consulted Gauis. He knew Merlin would have done this, that idiotic prat just had to sacrifice himself to keep Morgana from getting out.  

"Merlin, I just wish I got one last chance to see you." Arthur whispered to no one in particular. His throat was burning, guilt and anger were the two things he felt when he visited Merlin's resting place.  

Those two emotions were nothing if not a catastrophe waiting to crush the beholder under their weight. Anger at Merlin for having hidden the truth from Arthur for as long as he did, for not believing that he could trust Arthur, for lying to the Arthur who had shared his every thought all the while.  

The anger would be quiet for days, but the guilt never left.  

"Oh, all that guilt." Arthur mused, his shoulders drawn. "I just wish I had been the friend you could trust, I'm so sorry Merlin." In that moment, Arthur truly felt sorry. Sorry for having let down the only person who had an unwavering faith in him.  

Besides Arthur, a few of the knights, Gaius, Guinevere, would be headed to visit Merlin at the first light. He was aware that it was a mistake to come here alone, should anyone approach him but Arthur couldn't bring himself to come here with any others. After all, Camelot had enjoyed three years of peace due to Merlin's ultimate gift.  

Arthur had done everything in his power to make sure that the citizens of Camelot saw Merlin as a good man, if not a hero. The tales of Merlin's betrayal had been cast over Camelot and it indeed took Arthur months to accept the truth himself so why would his citizens trust a warlock after Uther's reign? The only reason Arthur himself has come around was due to his knowledge of the kind of man Merlin was and after Merlin's death, Arthur made it a point to spend countless days and nights listening to Gauis ramble on about his ward's deeds. Gauis never wished to tell Arthur, for he always felt Merlin would rather be the one to tell him, but considering that Merlin would never return Arthur begged him for the truth. 

The skies above Arthur were a dark shade of gray, the land beneath illuminated but dim enough to add to Arthur's misery. It would rain. Merlin would have hated this weather because of how dirty Arthur would get his boots in the rain, and later have him clean them. 

"Goodbye, old friend. Someday soon, I'll be here to tell you of how magic will no longer be outlawed in Camelot. I promise." Arthur took lithe steps towards the largest Boulder due to which the cave remained inaccessible. It was hope if not longing to find his friend, that led Arthur to once again try to move the boulders. It would not move, Arthur tried and tried, but to no avail. His brow was glittering with sweat, he didn't know if it was due to the exhaustion but he felt as if his eyes were tearing up, his voice cracked as he said, "I wish I could see you. Just one last time." His hands were still stroking the rough edges of the cool gray stone beneath, when he heard a laugh.  

The laugh he could recognize anywhere. He had been the cause of it many a times or he was on the receiving end of the joke. It was the sound he heard before a battle, while he sat in his tent worried, it was just the nervous laughter that made him feel as if he was going to get through somehow. With a sharp intake of breath, Arthur turned around. Turned around to a face he could never forget. 

Merlin stood right in front of him. The first thing that came to mind was that Arthur was dreaming. The second was that would he in his dreams remember the blue of Merlin's eyes quite so clearly?  

"You have just been granted your wish." Merlin said, a small smile playing at his lips. Arthur dared not believe it. Merlin stood only two steps away from him, but then it occurred to Arthur that his Merlin could never approach so quietly that Arthur wouldn't have heard him. This was a trick, or a trap. Someone wanted to play with Arthur's mind.  

Merlin took another step forward. His movement graceful. Graceful? Merlin could hardly ever stay still, he was never graceful, Arthur thought. Little details filled Arthur's vision as he grasped the hilt of his sword, ready to parry any attack. 

The man in front of him was not Merlin. Arthur had never seen Merlin's eyes so clear yet so distant. His face even with an amused expression, looked cold. His posture looked almost regal. The last shred of hope that this man was Merlin disappeared when Arthur noticed the way he was dressed. He wore a cloak of a dark shade of green, his cloak was flying around his tall frame, the tunic the man wore was of a dull white shade and it was finely spun. Where Arthur expected to see the neckerchief, he saw only the curve of the tunic around the man's pale neck and as his eyes moved he saw the cloak had a sigil of golden on it. It resembled owl perched upon an oak. His Merlin would never be dressed in such a manner, even the boots were a black leather unlike his usual rough brown ones. 

"Who are you?" His voice was trembling with emotion. He was being tricked. He knew it. 

"So soon they forget. "The man whispered to himself. "I'm Merlin, of course." His voice was the same voice Arthur remembered but somehow there was an undertone that seemed sinister. It almost made Arthur shiver, in a flash, Arthur drew his sword to this unknown man's neck. His gaze noticed the man was unarmed and it seemed rather dishonorable to hold an unarmed man at the edge of his sword, but he was being cautious for the reaction his next words would draw.  

"Stop lying and answer me honestly. Who are you?"  

"Oh, Arthur, don't be so rude about it. You know I'm not lying. I can see the way you look at me. You already know that I am who I claim to be, you just don't want to believe it." said Merlin, his eyes so unnaturally blue and yet looking dispassionate. Arthur was thoroughly disoriented. His head was filled with so many reasons to why this man couldn't be Merlin.  

He wanted him to be Merlin. There was no explanation. 

"Arthur, stop being a prat and drop that sword." Arthur flinched at the casual way this Merlin addressed him. 

 "Merlin." Uttered Arthur, not sure whether it was a question or a confirmation.He took a deep breath. His voice still small, he said, "If it's you, just prove it to me." 

"What have I to prove, Arthur? That I'm still alive? Well, I am." Merlin said shaking his head slightly, but not quickly, as he eyed the sword's edge near his neck. Merlin looked amused and it left Arthur breathless. How could a man face his friend, who believed him to be dead, and not even look troubled in the least? 

"Prove to me you are Merlin, prove you are my friend."  

"The last think I asked of you was for you to remember me. " 

Arthur looked shaken. There was no way anyone but Merlin could have known that, Arthur himself had never shared this detail of his last memory of Merlin. Arthur's uncertain gaze changed in a second, and he dropped his sword from the mere shock of being reunited with Merlin. The metal fell with a loud thud that seemed to rattle the quiet forest and in a quick step Arthur found himself embracing Merlin's tall frame, his expression beaming with joy. A joy he had thought he would never find. His head was buzzing with thoughts, his mouth too strained with a grin to say anything, and his eyes were closed.Merlin's warm chest enfolded his. Arthur Pendragon felt the weight of the world fall off his shoulders. _Merlin was alive._  

What Arthur didn't realize until a moment too late was that no arms embraced him, Merlin had never returned the gesture instead he just stood there a smile plastering his face. It didn't quite reach his eyes. 

 "Although, I can't say I'm a friend." His voice picked up a bitter edge, and Merlin's eyes looked almost wrathful as he spoke.  

Arthur barely had a moment to register what was happening when he heard Merlin's words. He drew back so quickly he almost stumbled but before he could grab his weapon or even say anything, Merlin uttered a spell. Merlin's blue eyes flickered and turned a shade of gold that somehow seemed muted and dark, not like his eyes when Arthur had see him cast Morgana aside all those years ago. All of a sudden Arthur felt all his strength leave him, the spell worked it's way over his body and Arthur felt himself falling onto the brown dirt below.  

This was not the Merlin he had known, Arthur thought just before he began to faint. How strange it seemed, the magic that once saved him was now going to be his end.  

Merlin caught Arthur's limp body in his arms, and said to himself, "Friend or not, you will come with me to Leshir." 

Arthur barely heard these words in his weakened state, still not sure why he wasn't dead yet. Merlin was not himself anymore, he had succumbed to something dreadful and now Arthur was going to pay with his life for being so foolish.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be prepared for some feels and feel free to drop critiques and comments <3 I always appreciate those.


	3. A Terrible Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur hears a tale of the past, and somehow he knows everything has changed. He doesn't know what to expect from this broken Merlin at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love your feedback about this chapter<3 I'm sorry for posting after an entire month! Forgive me guys, but school's hard.  
> Also, there might be some errors which I could've missed so feel free to pin-point them:)

It had been over two days since Merlin had put Arthur in a state of sleep, the task proved simple enough, but to have to make sure Arthur was strapped to his horse while in slumber had been an annoyingly tough task. For it seemed that Arthur's muscular structure wouldn't balance on the thick leather saddle he was strapped to. The ride to Leshir was still over half a day and Merlin had no qualms of letting Arthur ride behind him on the same horse, so he decided it would be better if he woke Arthur and somehow bound him in such a way that he couldn't escape.  
With a single flick of Merlin's hands, Arthur slowly came back to consciousness and was groggily beginning to get up but before he could do so fully Merlin uttered a word and Arthur's wrists had invisible rope twirled over them, leaving them tightly bound. Arthur took no notice. Merlin grinned," Well, now you can stop falling over and ride your horse."  
For a moment Arthur thought he must be dreaming, Merlin was well and fine and just chattering like he had never left, maybe everything else had been a dream and his lazy manservant had never left him. Arthur was going to tug at his horse's reins, but his arms felt restricted almost as they had been tied together by rope. He struggled for a moment before turning to face Merlin, even though the smallest movements could hurt his wrist. Arthur was hurt by the sight he saw, he was riding beside Merlin and it wasn't how he remembered Merlin. In his tired state, Arthur closed his eyes as the events that had taken place fell into his mind. The pain in his wrists would not subdue and Arthur recognized this pain, it was as if he had been chained. Chained like a prisoner.  
A small sound was stuck in Arthur's throat, he wanted to laugh. He was being held as a prisoner by none other than Merlin.  
"You amuse me Arthur. By now most people would have started questioning what my plans were or maybe brave knights like you would have started threatening my life. But you seem to be doing neither, and I know you well enough. You never stay quiet." Arthur cringed. His entire body shook with disgust, Merlin had always been so kind and so happy and now that he was so serious and distant, his voice had lost all it's beauty.  
"Merlin, what happened to you?" Arthur asked. His voice was painfully quiet but he knew Merlin had heard him by the way Merlin's shoulders seemed to drop. It was a defensive stance, and Merlin did seem to have too many truths to defend.  
"It's a long story, but I feel like you wouldn't mind listening to it. How about I tell you everything once we stop for the night in the next village?" Merlin looked at Arthur. Merlin's reticence was not lost on Arthur. He didn't reply, afraid his voice would give away the emotions he was feeling. Merlin had changed and Arthur didn't know why and it broke his heart, this was his fault after all. Maybe if he had looked for Merlin for a few more months he could have saved him.  
"Stop brooding. I know that you're thinking this is your fault, it truly isn't." Merlin's gaze was so strongly focused on Arthur, who had decided to put his head down on the horse. Merlin had only guessed what Arthur could be thinking but when Arthur heard Merlin, he groaned loudly and his head shot up indignantly.  
"Merlin, if you read my mind with your magic once again, I will have you burned at the stake." Arthur spoke only too soon to realize that his words may hurt Merlin. Considering that Merlin would have spent many years in Camelot worried about being told the very same thing. But one look at Merlin's almost empty expression told him that Merlin wasn't afraid anymore.  
"Arthur, for all your claims about being observant, you must have noticed you are in no position to have me burned at the stake or even move your hands to wield your sword." Arthur almost growled in his frustration about how true Merlin's words were.  
"Why do you have me rope-bound if you're a mighty sorcerer? You can easily keep me from running or killing you, can't you?" Said Arthur.  
"I can keep you from escaping but I'd prefer not to kill you." With these words, Merlin nudged his horse to go faster, and Arthur's horse followed. The silence somehow comforting.  
*****  
The next time Arthur woke up, he was aware of the tinkering of metal jugs and thud of glasses being put down. His hands were no longer tied, instead he was seated next to Merlin in a tavern.  
"Glad to know you're finally awake." Arthur looked up. Merlin was not in his green cloak anymore, he was in his white tunic and looked so out of place in the tavern that it was actually funny. Merlin stood out with his slender and pale looks, while all the men around him were burly. Arthur wanted to say something, but he was searching for words with nothing to show for. So he remained quite.  
"Arthur, you wished for me to tell you what happened in the past three years and I will." Arthur sat up attentively, his posture very firm, as if he was preparing himself for a battle. Merlin looked at him and chuckled, "Look at you, all eyes and ears."  
"That day when we were ambushed by Morgana, I had sent you outside the cave, I knew that I needed something powerful to stop Morgana. It occurred to me that she couldn't... Wouldn't be stopped. She was lost to us and the only way I could save you was to end her life."  
Merlin paused, his gaze strongly holding Arthur's, searching for understanding.  
"I didn't want to kill her, Arthur. Not one bit, she had been my friend and I loved her dearly. You may not know this, but I poisoned her in Camelot, to save your Kingdom. I tried to kill her once. I almost did and frankly it still hurts." Arthur had noticed the way Merlin almost spat out the words, 'Your Kingdom'. It was baffling to imagine Merlin, who sacrificed so much in the name of Camelot, speak of it with such disdain. But Arthur did not say anything even now, he knew Merlin would never finish if his confessions were hampered with Arthur's questioning.  
"It occurred to me that I wouldn't make it out the cave alive with Morgana's beast on my trail, so I decided to sacrifice my life if it meant that I could keep harm from you. After all if I killed Morgana, I would become just as twisted as her, if not worse...  
Maybe I should have just died that day. Things would have been different now, but I'm glad I didn't. That night I trapped us in the cave and in only a few moments my magic was able to snuff out all the air. The spell worked well enough and I did remember almost suffocating to death in the next few days. Morgana had fallen unconscious in a matter of hours. She was so weak she couldn't summon the beast and I felt I was no murderer if both of us died right there. It wasn't my magic that would be killing her if she just couldn't breathe. It was enough to console me as I lay there taking my last breaths.  
Truly, I can't remember the moment I lost consciousness. It felt like years later, but somehow I woke up. I just didn't wake up in the cave, instead I woke up in someone's chambers. I had no memory of how I got there but on waking I saw a woman sitting by me. She had nursed me to life, at that time I did not know who she was and I couldn't have known. I had never seen her before.  
It didn't seem plausible to me, but she told me who she was. I didn't believe her for a while but everyday I could sense how truthful she was. She told me she was my mother, Arthur." said Merlin.  
Merlin's breathing was loud and his hands seemed to be shaking, with his lips set in a tight line, he looked so vulnerable. Had Arthur not known better, that is.  
"Tell me, do you remember Morgana's mother, the Lady Vivienne?" Merlin's question had an almost sharp edge.  
"I never knew her. My father told me she had disappeared while Morgana had been a child. How is that even relevant?" Arthur was so confused. His head hurt.  
"Arthur, she is still alive Arthur." Merlin paused before continuing, "She was of Leshir, and in her youth she had been betrothed to marry the sole heir, Prince Balinor. He loved her truly, at least that's what I hear. Guess I'll never know just how much. When Uther and a few of his advisers arrived for the winter council, Vivenne was taken with Gorlois, he wasn't a king of course but she was soon with his child and had to marry him."  
Arthur had never heard of how Morgana's parents, well, her mother had met Gorlois. It was strange that Merlin knew of all this yet at this point things seem to have lost their ability to be strange. In Arthur's mind, he could remember a Balinor he had met a few years ago, the last dragonlord.  
"She lived by his side for so many years, and as you know, she conceived Morgana while she was in Camelot. Gorlois never knew Morgana wasn't his daughter, he loved her so much but things changed when he passed away and Vivenne was left to take care of her daughter. A daughter who would soon show her magical abilities, for Vivenne had been born with magic.  
During the Purge, she fled and came back to Leshir to protect herself where she learnt that Balinor never married after she left. He was desperate to keep her safe from Uther's rage, and knowing that Uther wouldn't harm his own blood they knew Morgana would be safe in Camelot. Everything Balinor did he did out of his love for Lady Vivenne, being his intended he never could imagine as someone else as his wife.  
Your father wanted nothing more than to rid the land of magic and what place better than a land where magic was embedded in the very soul of it's people? When he began to execute the dragon lords, Balinor knew that Uther would come for him to his kingdom, so Balinor left Leshir to keep Uther's wrath from ever reaching his people or his love.  
But what he didn't know was that Vivenne was carrying his child. I believe you remember how Balinor died."  
Merlin looked at Arthur with a silent calm, and suddenly it all made sense to him.  
"He was your father wasn't he?" Arthur said, his eyes looking everywhere but at Merlin. "And do you blame me for what your family has lost?" Arthur was speaking, yes. But his mind was tormented, he slowly began to grasp what Merlin's tale meant, it meant that Merlin was the heir to the throne of Leshir, he was Morgana's half brother, and as far as he could tell Merlin had no feeling of kindness left for Uther's son. Merlin would want vengeance, but gentle Merlin would never do harm without a reason. There must be a reason why he had taken Arthur prisoner. Something greater than revenge then. Something terrible, for all that Arthur knew and believed had been and a lie, he could only grasp that a terrible future was upon him.


	4. Strange Castles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kingdom of Leshir is different that his own and it's people even stranger. Yet Arthur can't help but feel fascinated. Arthur can't understand Merlin's nervousness until he finally understands why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took the liberty of making the chapter a bit longer than the usual, because I felt it should be one with a lot of depth. Can't just randomly create a kingdom and not explain all about it, right?  
> Also, I hope you guys are actually enjoying the story because there isn't much feedback and I'm wondering if it's too boring to read. So please save this fanfic author and tell me what you like or dislike about the story <3 That'll be great because I'd love to improve and do the best I can with this tale

They descended uphill, as every turn went past, Arthur realized he had never seen or heard of how Leshir's castle was. Now he was here, higher above the townsfolks dwelling, not too high, but to a simple man living near the edge, it would seem a hearty height. One he couldn't surpass no matter what his troubles. Arthur thought of Camelot and of how his people were never too far away, always within his reach, and he in theirs. A king was always responsible for being somehow approachable to his subjects, now Arthur began to wonder if that was the case here. Maybe it wasn't or maybe these people hadn't had a ruler for so long that they had forgotten what being ruled over was like. 

Arthur turned his head slightly, only just to see how Merlin saw his own kingdom. For it was his own kingdom now, if all his tales were true, it was only just that he be given the right to rule over these people. Arthur searched Merlin's face to see a hint of that very love that he knew fell over his face every time he glanced at Camelot.  

There wasn't even the smallest trace of it. 

Instead he saw a sadness that seemed to seep into Merlin's bones, and somehow looking at Merlin, in his demise, Arthur imagined what it must be like. Knowing that you've been accountable to these people all your life, yet never having been there for them. Never having known what it was like to hear their joys and repent their sorrows. The very thought somehow made him feel lost. 

As they neared the clearing where the castle was located, Arthur noticed two things. All of a sudden Merlin seemed to have shut himself out, his face devoid of any emotion and secondly he was now staring at Arthur. It wasn't an expression Arthur himself wasn't familiar with, it was a façade worn by him every time he had a diplomatic visit. The strangeness of Merlin's alienation towards Arthur would never end, Merlin had known him for so long, so why did he act like he hadn't at all? 

"Arthur, if you must know this, things here aren't as wonderful as Camelot. Someday it will change, but for now there is no need for you to point out the errs of this land. I have to apologize for bringing you here as a prisoner, but if it's any consolation everyone here believes you to have come here with your own free will. You are a guest, if you'd accept that." 

"A guest? Is that what I am, Merlin?" Arthur said, slightly annoyed as he looked at his magically bound hands. 

"To the nobles of court and mother, you are." said Merlin, as he offered to set free Arthur's hands.  

That's when Arthur began to hear the low hum of music, the sun was about to set and they finally had reached the upper level of Leshir's grounds. Around him he heard the voices of folk music, strange to his ear because Camelot had never had the people feel free enough to rejoice in such a way in the past few years. In a few moments, he was greeted with one of the most ethereal sights he had ever seen. 

The castle was beautiful. It was tall and hovered above him, the arc of it's balconies done gracefully with engravings around the edge that Arthur couldn't decipher. It had many parallel towers and he knew it would have been spacious with enough space for the nobles of the court to reside in. The high walls of white bricks that didn't seem to dull even as nighttime approached, were brightly lit up with torches that perched atop the edges in a way that would seem impossible if Arthur hadn't known they had been placed there with magic. The ground streched on and Arthur couldn't see the edge of this mountain, all around him there were small cottages, and right in the center was a large clearing that could hold an army in an arrangement. At this moment the square was filled with people dancing and many singing, their movements sluggish and the smell of mead was in the air. It was a celebration and Arthur felt he was witnessing something important. 

Merlin who rode beside Arthur, quickly got down from horse and ran of into the clearing. It was strange, but Merlin seemed every bit as childlike as he had been when he ran all around the palace grounds, a smiled plastering his face. It was a genuine smile that at some point Arthur had lost all hope of seeing, he was mesmerized. Merlin ran up to a little girl and his wide smile was met with her grin, as the girl started talking Merlin's eyes grew wider and wider until he hugged her and from Arthur could see he mouthed a thanks to her as he made his way back. So maybe Merlin still showed care for others, if not for Arthur. 

"You can leave the your mare here, I'll have someone take care of her, while you can join me." Said Merlin. Arthur didn't want to leave Auron, after all his mare had accompanied him for years and he didn't want any harm to reach her. 

"She must be taken very good care of. You do know how much I adore her." Arthur said, his voice a plea because he knew Merlin must have remembered Arthur's favorite horse from his days in Camelot. As Arthur got down, he slowly stroked his mare's golden coat.  

"I don't. But I will see to it that she's taken care of." Merlin said with a small nod. Well, that was puzzling, Arthur remembered having told Merlin repeatedly that he must always take care of Auron before each and every hunt. Did Merlin not recall these little things from his past? 

The sky was dark now, but the path was still bright due to all the torches but there was an eerie glow to the brightness. Arthur wasn't accustomed to seeing such life in the folks after dawn, but as he followed Merlin, he began to notice that the number of people in the clearing was growing rapidly and they were all singing in a language unknown to Arthur, but as they sang the melody became slow, unsteady even as the happier tone started to drown and the music around him suddenly sounded like a melancholy prayer. Merlin looked at them with a strange silence that evaded Arthur, Arthur was fascinated and wished to know what these people sang about. There were old women crowding around them, little children with flowers in their hands and bright smiles on their faces.  

And they all were looking at Merlin, Arthur realized. Merlin who had just begun to smile a little, yet his steps got quicker as he walked through the citadel as if he couldn't bear this for another moment. Arthur followed matching his steps to Merlin's, who reached the gates of the palace, with his breathing labored. 

Just as everything else around him, Arthur saw that the gates weren't much like every other palace but seemed to be made of some other metal, they weren't iron gates and with a snort that he barely concealed Arthur realized why. Of course they wouldn't be made of iron, because iron tends to weaken magical beings. The guards opened the glinting gates. They looked much the same as any stationed guards, no hint of magic anywhere, they wore uniforms with a crest that Arthur had earlier seen on Merlin's cloak. It was the owl on the oak's branch, lined with gold and it must have represented Merlin's house. Which Arthur still knew nothing about, as Uther had long ago banned all books pertaining to magic and such kingdoms. He would make sure he question Merlin about this, if he were indeed a guest, Arthur would have the right to do so anyway. 

Merlin's cloak billowed behind him as he accepted the salute of the guards and led Arthur inside. He turned towards Arthur, still looking quite disoriented after the strange ordeal he had outside, and said, "If you're wondering the gates are made from Adamantine and are impenetrable by magic itself, they can withstand any attack except for a dragon's flame, but the Dragonlords have always been a peaceful kind, so we don't have trouble with that." 

"Merlin, what was that about just outside?" Arthur knew fully well that Merlin was trying to distract him so he wouldn't ask this very question.  

"It was a prayer of the Old Religion." So, Arthur had been right, they were praying. Noticing the Merlin wasn't answering him properly Arthur began again, "Why were they looking to you so expectantly?" 

Merlin remained quite for a moment, and then just turned away from Arthur and began to descend deeper into the palace. Arthur had no choice but to follow him and so he did. The marble beneath his feel not as slippery as he would except as he glided along trying to keep up with Merlin's rushed steps. When Merlin stopped suddenly Arthur almost lost his footing, just to notice a young woman with beautifully dark hair emerge from the far end of the corridor. She rushed up to Merlin, her gown of silver casting a glow around her tall frame. Her eyes were a dark shade of brown, their depths endless, her lips curved so symmetrically that it was impossible for Arthur to keep his eyes from drifting to them every moment or so. 

Merlin regraded her with a smile and asked, "Lady Octavia, what is the matter?" 

Octavia curtsied, her movement elegant and addressed Merlin with a charming smile which Arthur was surprised to see Merlin return. "Your highness. Where have you been?" Octavia said. 

"My lady, I told you of this a few weeks ago, didn't I? If I didn't it must have slipped my mind. But I was away as I had to escort a friend to our Kingdom." Then Merlin turned and gestured to Arthur, and said, "Octavia, may I introduce you to King Arthur of Camelot?" 

Octavia looked at Arthur curiously, as Arthur took her slender hand and placed a kiss on it. She smiled and excitedly said, "It's nice to meet you, Your Majesty. It's great you are just in time for our Prince Merlin's coronation." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it <3 Feel free to leave comments and kudos, they mean a lot:)


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